My views do not necessarily reflect the views of my employer.
By the fall, we were over six months into the pandemic. Up to this point, it seemed like when I had time to travel, I didn’t have any money, or when I had money, I didn’t have enough time to travel. Finally I had savings and more time off than I knew what to do with, but we weren’t supposed to go anywhere. I decided to take a calculated risk.
Denver
My friend Amanda, who had been living in New York (you’ll remember her from previous posts), let me know that she’d be staying at her parents’ vacation townhouse in Denver and working remotely from there for a couple of months if I wanted to visit. COVID cases were finally declining, so I decided to take the opportunity to see more of my friends with one plane ticket. I booked my flight for early December (after Thanksgiving and before Christmas) and started contacting everyone I wanted to get together with in Denver.
My mom had planned to come stay with us in California for Thanksgiving, but as the holidays approached, COVID cases began to rise. At the last minute, she cancelled her trip. It was looking like the state of Washington might not let them (my mom and Ron Voyage) back in.
I decided to discreetly sneak into Denver anyway. I cut down my list of people to visit to err on the safe side.
A masked Amanda picked me up from the airport and we caught up in person while staying at least 6 feet apart from each other when we could. While she worked, I walked around the four lakes, with a view of the mountains.
As we discussed our options of our favorite brunch places over the weekend, we considered where it would be worth it to eat outside with snow on the ground. Then Amanda mentioned that Snooze delivered.
Snooze is my FAVORITE breakfast place in Denver. On the farm we are too far away from any restaurants to have anything delivered. Delivery would be a treat! I love when things that I used to take for granted bring me so much joy (we also had plenty of cocktail options at home).
I’d been in Denver long enough that the lack of touristy adventure options didn’t even phase me. I felt totally fulfilled getting to hang out with my friends, outside, wearing masks, staying 6 feet apart, making dinner after work, being introduced to the Great British Baking Show and the new Saved By the Bell. I figured if I could do those things in California, why not do them in Denver? The first half of my trip it was sunny and gorgeous and the second half was covered in snow. Though the warm weather was slightly more comfortable, the cold was totally manageable. I was able to reconnect with my friend Sarah and her daughter, Lucy (who was a bump in Sarah’s belly last time I saw her), my friend Emily and her partner, Dawn, my old boss and dear friend Teri (who I hadn’t seen in too many years) and my storage unit. Unlike with my friends, I only had about an hour with my storage unit. I had packed it before I knew if I would next be moving into an apartment or if I would be living out of a suitcase. There were so many things I couldn’t believe I thought would be useful again (like the rags I would wear while painting). There were also lots of smart casual clothes that I didn’t know would be useful to wear on the ship (I snagged those)!
When I came back to California, my Aunt Wendy had just learned that someone she’d been in contact with had tested positive for COVID. It turns out it would have been just as dangerous for me to stay at home! We all got tested the next chance we got (negative) and our positive friend and his wife got through the flu okay.
After all the big holidays had passed, it seemed like things were slightly getting better again. My mom decided that since she’d missed Thanksgiving, she should come out for my birthday! I was stoked. We tried to rebook all the fun things we had planned for her to do in November.
My Birthday!
So, just to clarify, my mom coming out is the second secret visit that my title refers to. Like me, my mom had planned on getting together with people she hadn’t seen in a long time in the Sacramento area over Thanksgiving, but apparently this pandemic wasn’t over yet. She snuck into Sacramento without telling anyone besides me, my sister and her sister (Wendy, who I live with).
She arrived just after Riesling Bater Ginsberg had been spayed, so my mom met my kitten while she was in a drugged state recovering from surgery.
A couple of days into my mom’s visit, we had a huge storm. In California (and on the ship) I don’t get nearly enough winter (I guess 15 years in New York and Colorado weren’t enough for me to reach my quota). I personally love storms because we get to hunker down under the covers and listen to the rain hit the roof. It’s so exciting! Well that night, the power went out. Our power had been going out periodically- not quite once a month. We usually took the opportunity to get takeout at one of our favorite fast food venues and have dinner by candle light followed by a game of dominoes. It would usually come back on after a couple of hours.
The next morning the power was still out, so Cameron, Selina and Blue (the dog) temporarily relocated to Selina’s parents’ house. Selina works from home, and unfortunately, no power is not an excuse to get out of work.
The power ended up being out for four days.
In the beginning we did such a good job making the best of it that it was fun! It was like camping in our house! We were able to light the stove to boil water for coffee and tea. We had just stocked up on food and a lot of it was easy to prepare by stovetop. We read our books. We ate ice cream (can’t let ice cream go to waste!). I had gotten my mom some external batteries as part of a Black Friday deal so we were able to recharge our phones. We got out the lanterns from the stash of camping gear. Each day we didn’t know how much longer it would be until the power was restored. We started to get concerned that we would run out of water (it’s a well system that was explained to me at the time, but don’t ask me how it works now) so we let the dishes pile up in the sink and we only flushed the toilet for #2’s. Uncle Stu got out the generator. It only had limited outlets, so one person could charge their phone, we got the tv on for the news, a small space heater and in the morning they plugged in the Kurig for coffee. We would alternate plugging in the 2 refrigerators (the freezer in the barn seemed to be okay if we kept it closed). The generator went out, so a neighbor came and exchanged it for one that worked. They fixed the first one and traded it back when the second one failed. Riesling Bater Ginsberg was scheduled to get her stitches out. We took her to the vet, and they were out of power too! I was so grateful when they said that removing stitches was something they could actually do without light or power! She was grateful to lose the giant blue collar.
By the fourth day we were over it. We went in search of a laundromat (I had started a load of laundry that was midway through its cycle when the power had gone out). The first two laundromats we found were closed or out of power too. It was becoming apparent that the increasing number of days without bathing was starting to become uncomfortable. We had a wine tasting on a river cruise coming up and if we were all going to be smooshed together on a little boat, we wanted to be clean and smell better. And we missed being warm. Wendy and Stu have those beds that lift up with a remote so you can sit up more comfortably in bed. They had been up when the power went out, so they couldn’t flatten out the beds to sleep (they did realize after the second night that they could use the generator to lower them). Anyway, on the whole we weren’t sleeping that well.
So we checked into a quaint little Inn in Freeport on the other side of the river. It was the closest town with power, and the closest hotel to us anyway, for that matter. We got a discount for being local! Wendy had done daycare for the owner’s kids over 20 years ago. We had been planning on going to dinner at the Freeport Grill next to the Freeport Inn after the wine cruise anyway. I was totally stoked to be able to walk ‘home’ after dinner.
We checked in early, plugged in all of our devices and took the best showers of the year (granted, it was the end of January) before meeting at the pier for our little cruise.
I had done the wine cruise for Selina’s last two birthdays in August, and I was looking forward to sharing the experience with my mom. I brought hand warmers for everyone just in case.
It was a little chilly, but the sunset was spectacular.
As usual, it was everything I wanted it to be. My mom got buzzed, I got drunk and the charcuterie was spectacular and local. I love when we see the little boat out on a cruise when we drive down the River Road. And now I have memories of the Freeport Inn too!
After dinner, Cameron and Selina went home to sleep in the cold, dark powerless house with the animals, but were surprised to find that the power was back on! They waited to tell us until the next morning to keep us from feeling guilty about our splurge on the hotel (we still would have enjoyed it even if we had known). It took four dishwasher loads to wash practically every dish we owned.
For my actual birthday (which was on a work day for those who worked), I did my best to recreate a Snooze breakfast at home.
It was pretty close! Everyone joined in for Thai food that night (food is a pretty important part of my birthday) – my sister, Megan even joined us!
Megan had just started a job delivering bread for Grateful Bread Company. The schedule was a little hard to get used to (she often started work at 3:30 in the morning) but she was excited to be using her best skills from previous jobs.
Later that week Selina put together a spa night for the girls with warm salty foot baths and face masks. It was a fabulous birthday fortnight.
Another Episode
At the end of February, my sister’s roommate sent a text message saying she had checked Megan into the Emergency Room because she was having another manic episode. After a couple of days she was transferred to a mental health facility in Stockton (Stockton is about an hour away). My mom and I tried calling the various phone numbers we were given to try and get more information about Megan’s condition daily, but only managed to reach Megan directly. We were able to tell that she wasn’t lucid yet by talking to her, but didn’t know when she would be released and what help we could give her when she got out. It was a little less scary than it was the previous summer- this time we had some reference as to what would happen next. Both times she was in the Emergency Room for a few days and then she was transferred to a facility for a couple of weeks. This time we had no communication from the people who were holding her. This time I volunteered to be the one to pick her up and help her get back on her feet.
I did not feel especially qualified for the task, so I dove into research. I wanted to find out what had caused another episode so soon after the first one (stress? lack of sleep?), how I could best support her and how to set up a network of support for the future if this happened again while I or my mom might be on the other side of the world (I am hoping to be on the other side of the world again someday soon). I binge-read articles and blog posts about how to support a loved-one with Bi Polar. In a Facebook group, a loved one with Bi Polar had found many correlations between antibiotics and manic episodes. After talking with Megan (after she got out), and her roommate, I learned that while Megan had been stressed with learning her way around a new job, she hadn’t started to teeter off balance until she had gotten sick and taken antibiotics that her doctor prescribed. I am convinced that this is what caused the episode, and am thus reassured because it is a factor that is more easily controllable. Megan’s roommate kept in touch with her boss at Grateful Bread, and she gave me Megan’s phone so I could make sure her bills were being paid while she was off the grid.
After a couple of weeks (and an aggravating lack of communication) Megan called and asked to be picked up from Stockton. Apparently the people at this facility weren’t very clear with her either- while I was waiting in the parking lot I finally got a call from someone who wanted to talk about the outpatient process of picking Megan up. I told them that I had already gotten a call from Megan and was in the parking lot. She said she would send Megan out and call me back later, which wasn’t really the normal process, but since I was there… The whole process was a confusing mess. Megan came out and I took her to her apartment to pick up some things- we’d all decided that she should come stay at the farm for a bit. Megan and her roommate had decided to part ways and Megan was excited about looking for a place where she could live by herself. I was nervous about that.
The next morning Megan got a call from the facility where she had been staying. When she arrived she had been tested for COVID (it was negative) and she was tested again before she left. This time it was positive.
After being in various stages of lock down for nearly a year (I was just a couple weeks shy of the one year mark since flying back from Australia) this was my first known contact with someone who had tested positive for COVID.
New Plan! I passed on the message to the rest of the family. Wendy (who was working as a Teacher’s Assistant) and Cameron (who was managing ranches for Gallo Wineries) were immediately sent home from work. Megan closed the door to her room and we stocked up on extra cleaning supplies. Cameron and Selina were self sufficient in their barn across the driveway. Luckily, the main house is big and spread out so that Megan could be isolated for the most part. Wendy and Stu’s bedroom and bathroom were on one side of the house, the two bedrooms and the guest bathroom that Megan and I were using were on the other side, with the kitchen and living room in the middle. We could all keep to our corners of the house and I would bring Megan food in her room. We wore masks, washed our hands before and after each contact and wiped down everything we touched in the bathroom after using it. We went out and got tested right away even though we’d heard that COVID doesn’t always show up on a test right after exposure. Negative. We tested again after the recommended number of days to wait. Negative again. Whew! What a relief!
Megan didn’t feel very good for a few days, but ultimately she got through without having severe symptoms. This extra time (with a legitimate excuse to continue to be excused from work) allowed her to transition back to real life a little more slowly. She was able to attend lots of virtual therapy through her outpatient program. Wendy got two extra weeks off of work before spring break- and she didn’t even get sick!
Megan’s job was waiting for her when she was well enough to return. Ultimately, she found a new roommate and an awesome new apartment (I helped her pack up her stuff and move in to the new place, which gave me another project to spice up my days of leisure). In retrospect, all of the drama turned out to be very beneficial. The manic episode enabled Megan to get more regular help that she hadn’t been getting previously. She now has a network in place and a plan if she gets out of balance again.
Speaking of that network- it occurred to me how important it is to have a plan in place in the event of an emergency. As a single adult, it seems logical to be self sufficient, but what if I’m incapacitated? It felt like solving a mystery as I tried to figure out what bills Megan had, how they were paid, what her passwords might be while she was unavailable. I have since given my codes to a trusted designee in the event of an emergency (which is pretty easy in my case- almost everything is on autopay, this is the one that needs to be paid manually). On the ship I find a best friend and give them my mom’s contact information (even though the ship has my official people to contact in case of emergency). It’s a favor to those who will take care of you when you can’t take care of yourself.
Finally, the story comes to an end. A year of what sometimes felt like nothing had no waterfalls, sky diving or explorations of other continents but it did include an amazing wedding, connections with family and friends, a kitten, power outages, a bit of mania and a confrontation with the tiny droplets that shut the whole world down.
And when my turn came, I got my ticket to freedom – I did not throw away my shot!
