Medically Disembarked

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My views do not necessarily reflect the views of my employer.

August 2023 to April 2024

Let’s see, when I last left you I was about to join the Enchanted Princess for my dream contract in the Mediterranean.  When people asked me if I was excited, I had to admit that my excitement was eclipsed with trepidation that it might not happen.  I wanted this contract so badly and it had been taken away at the last minute before.  Well, unfortunately, it turned out that my instincts were correct.  While I was flying across the world from San Francisco to Barcelona on 3 flights, I found that I couldn’t empty my bladder.  It felt like there was something blocking it.  This had happened to me before a couple of times, but before it had resolved itself within a couple of hours and I didn’t want to look into it in case the thing that was causing it would keep me from going to the Med (lesson learned).  I tried to wait patiently for it to easily resolve itself again, but as the hours passed I became more anxious as my pain and discomfort increased.  

I joined the ship and went to the medical center as soon as it opened in the afternoon.  They offered to put in a catheter – they said it would only take about 20 minutes, but I didn’t have enough time – I had to get to the Sail Away Celebration!  As the day went on, instead of my problem going away, it continued to get worse.  My belly was so swollen that I couldn’t button my uniform pants.  I returned to the medical center the next morning and when I told them I needed to figure this out so I could go do trivia, they pointed out that I couldn’t stand up straight for more than a couple of minutes. They gave me some medication and signed me off of work.  Over the next couple of days they gave me different medications and they tried to take an x-ray, but it was inconclusive.  I felt terrible for joining the ship without being able to do my job, which I know puts a strain on the team.  I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t drink, I couldn’t pee! and I was in a lot of pain.  

Finally, after the medical center was unable to get an appointment with a urologist for me on land, they said the best course of action would be for me to go to an Emergency Room in Marseille, where I would be able to see a urologist more urgently.  I packed my backpack with a big bottle of water and snacks and downloaded entertainment, prepared to wait for a few hours, see a urologist and then return to the ship.  I met the port agent who handed me over to a driver who took me to the hospital.  At the hospital they found someone who spoke some English who took my vitals and listened to my story.  They did a sonogram and told me my bladder was huge.  That’s what it felt like! They decided  to put in a catheter to empty my bladder.  I thought this process would take about 20 minutes, since that’s what they had said at the medical center, and then I could go back to the ship.  They put in the catheter and emptied 3 liters of urine.  Finally I felt some relief!  No wonder I couldn’t button my pants! I did the math, and 3 liters of water weighs about 10 lbs.  Hopefully now I could fit into my clothes again! I continued to wait in the bed with the catheter.  When I asked how long this would take – when they could take it out, the nurses didn’t know.  They wanted to do an MRI to find the reason for the blockage.  The urologist (who I never met with in person) thought it might be neurological.  It was getting close to the end of the day and I knew I had to be back on the ship by 5pm before it sailed away.  At about 4pm I got a message from my Cruise Director who had been told that he had an hour to pack my bags  – I was being medically disembarked and I would stay in the hospital.  

To say I was devastated would be an understatement.  

I was scared about what was happening to my body to keep me from functioning, but I had wanted to work in Europe for so long that I couldn’t believe that my adventure was ending before it could even get started.  If I was being disembarked, it must be serious, but I hoped there might still be a chance that it could be fixed at the hospital and I could return to the ship.  

The MRI showed that there was a mass that was blocking my bladder – that’s all I was told.  I would be kept in the hospital for a few more days. 

So I spent the next few days concluding that I had cancer, since that’s what a mass usually is.  I was so tired and heartbroken.  I didn’t want to have to fight for my life.  I thought, well, what now?  What if I have cancer?  How do I want to spend my time if I don’t have much of it left?

As I laid awake in the middle of the night I thought about this.  

I wanted to play.  I wanted to eat pizza in Naples and climb the cliffs of Santorini.  I wanted to explore the bay of Kotor.  The tears streamed down my face as I thought about how CLOSE I got to doing these things, and as I pictured trying to visit these places with the possibly little time I had left, I realized that as much as I wanted to go to these places, I also loved teaching Zumba and Line dancing, and creating my own spin on Beatles and ABBA music trivia.  What I wanted to do with my life was to do the job that I had – exploring the world, telling jokes and putting on little shows on the way to those places.

I was taken to a private room with a spectacular view of Marseille and the sea, which only made me cry more because I wanted to be out there exploring it rather than looking at it through a window tied to a bed with a straw coming out of my bladder and IV coming out of my arm.  

The port agent visited me regularly, which I appreciated, especially when she told me that they would be moving much quicker if they thought that I had cancer.  So that was a relief.  

I spent my time listening to audiobooks while I tried to sleep and watching Netflix on my phone to distract my mind.  Conveniently, the wifi worked well enough that I was able to be in contact with my family.

I was fascinated by the food.  Every meal came with a fresh warm French baguette, which was delicious – crispy on the outside and soft and fluffy on the inside.  For breakfast I had a hot chocolate, which though it came in the form of a packet of hot chocolate mix and a packet of milk powder mixed in hot water, was the best hot chocolate I could remember tasting.  The rest of the food was hit or miss – sometimes it was pasta or eggplant (my favorite) and sometimes it was a plastic box of radishes or something indiscernible. I ate the things I liked and considered the stuff I didn’t as a way to eat less calories in order to lose my vacation weight.  

There was a full bathroom in my room, but there was no soap or towels, so I did the best I could with what I had to work with.  

I spent a week in the hospital craving updates on my situation which sparsely came in broken English.  Every morning I was woken at 6am when a nurse would dig around in my wrist for a vein.  At least I didn’t have to get up to pee in the night! The port agents did their best to console me during my time in France, bringing an adapter and water to the hospital for their daily visits. 

Eventually I was told that I would need to fly home to continue my care.  I was very concerned about flying with a catheter.  Couldn’t they just do the surgery here in the hospital and then I could go back to the ship?  Apparently this was a bigger deal than that, so Princess flew me home first class, which I had a hard time arguing with, and they even flew me to Sacramento rather than San Francisco, which, though much closer to me, had never been an option while I was healthy.    

Finally I checked out of the hospital and stayed in a hotel for a couple of days (where I had my first proper shower in a week) before a flight home could be found for me.  I wore a dress that my aunt Wendy had given me at the last minute every day until I figured out how to maneuver shorts around the catheter. I figured out that I could put the catheter bag in a purse which gave me an extra hand and made my situation slightly less conspicuous in public. I still felt so gross carrying a bag of pee around with me everywhere.

I flew home wishing that my experience in first class could be under different circumstances.  I had navigated foreign airports before, but not in a wheelchair.  

My craziest experience was in Charles De Gaulle airport.  Because I had a first class ticket, I could spend the layovers in the lounge, which was very nice.  There were free drinks and local food.  I was told that someone would come to the lounge to pick me up but as the time of my flight approached, no one was coming.  The ladies at the front desk told me not to worry, someone would come to pick me up, until finally I was able to communicate that my flight was meant to take off in 5 minutes – surely I should be taken to the gate!  A flurry of activity commenced and I was rushed to my gate, which had changed, so I was rushed to another gate, then down an elevator to a lower floor then taken outside where I was told to get on a shuttle.  I was so confused.  The shuttle took me past the line of people climbing stairs to board the aircraft to the other side of the plane where there was what looked like a large storage container (like something that would go on the back of a large truck or Lorry, as the Brits call them).  Myself and 5 or 6 other mobility-challenged foreigners entered the container, which rose to the level of the plane, when door opened on the other side and we stepped directly on the plane, where I was escorted to my first class pod and asked what meals I would like from the menu.  

And then, two weeks after I had left, I was back home on my aunt and uncle’s farm.

My doctor marked my case as urgent, but it still took weeks to go through the process to schedule my surgery.  My records from France were translated into English using GoogIe translate.  I was referred to a specialist, who then referred me to an even more specialized specialist, there were more tests and scans, and my catheter had to be changed twice (which involved 2 visits to a US emergency room.  Though I did not like that I had to go through this process, every doctor I met with was kinder and friendlier than the one I had met with before.  They were able to explain what was happening and what options they were considering in a way I could understand. Princess told me that they would pay for anything that wasn’t covered by my insurance, which I appreciated even though my insurance covered everything.  I was so grateful that this whole process cost me nothing more than the income I would have gotten if I had been working.  I was even given a medical pay which, though not as much as I would have made had I been working, was definitely helpful financially.  

On my sister’s birthday, September 22, I had surgery to remove the mass (which was confirmed to be not cancerous).  I stayed in the hospital for a couple of days and then recovered at home over the next couple of months.  

Mentally I made the best of my situation, reluctantly letting go of my disappointment, and savoring the time to rest and be with my family and my cat.  I spent a lot of time watching the Below Deck series.    

It felt like I was experiencing another pandemic – once again I had lots of time, but I couldn’t travel. 

I was able to be home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, which is not only wonderful because I am able to spend the holidays with my family, but it is even better to miss this time on the ship, when I work harder than any other time of year.  

I absolutely treasured the time I was able to spend with my cousins.  I also felt so fortunate to get to know Easton as he started walking and talking.  He just turned two right before I returned to the ship.  

Easton calls my Aunt Wendy “Bobby” after her favorite grandma, Bobby.

Easton tends to get the spotlight of attention, so I also want to mention how much I treasured the extra time I got to hang out with his parents, his grandparents, and his aunt 🙂

In January I was declared fit for duty, and I let the company know I was available (assuming that I would be sent back very soon) but I would prefer to wait if they could give me a contract in the Mediterranean.  After a few weeks, I happened to wake up very early in the morning, and decided to check my email to see if there was any news.  There it was in my inbox –  my next assignment.  I would join the Island Princess in Curacao on May 28.  Well, I wouldn’t be going back to sleep after that.  The Island is the sister ship to the Coral, which I’ve worked on a couple of times.  I was shocked that I wouldn’t be going back to work for three more months.  What else was I going to do after having all of this time off?  Plus Curacao is in the Caribbean, which I swore not to return to.  Before I got too worked up, I looked at the itinerary.  I would be joining the ship mid-cruise and it would immediately spend a month going up and down the East Coast of the US (so I could visit friends and family in Boston as well as my beloved New York City) then during August, where it’s hot almost everywhere, the ship would make its way over to Europe by way of Iceland and Greenland.  There was a stop in the UK where I could see friends, and then the ship spent the rest of my contract in the Mediterranean.  YAY!!!

I settled back in, trying to set up a regular routine of getting even more healthy, and then a family friend called to say that there was a Goldendoodle puppy who needed a home.  My uncle had been thinking of getting a puppy in the summer when both he and my aunt would be home for summer vacation, but since I would be home for three more months…

So Bailey entered our lives.  She is as fun and lovable as she looks. I spent the day attempting to train her to go potty outside, teach her tricks and take her for walks.  

Then in mid-April I got another email.  I would now be joining the Diamond Princess on May 6 in Yokohama, Japan.  The ship would spend 4 months in Japan and then go down to Australia and New Zealand.  The funny thing is for the last year or two, as I’ve tried to manifest a contract in Europe, my energy healer has been saying that she keeps seeing me in Japan.  I said I’d love to go there, but I didn’t think they would send me because I don’t speak Japanese.  Well I guess she was right! This was reason in itself for me to go along with the contract change without complaining.  I was excited to go to Japan, but also disappointed that Europe was slipping through my fingers once again.  

Quickly before I left, though, my friend Emily came to visit. I realized this was the first time that someone from my adult life had come to visit me where I grew up. I gave her the whirlwind tour.

I loved being able to show her where I’ve been hanging out and who I’ve been hanging out with in California. Plus my soul is always happier when I’ve had some time with Emily.

So now I’m off to Japan! I’ll let you know how it goes!